25 Lessons I Learned By 25

Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
— Langston Hughes, Mother to Son

Life is as beautiful as you make it to be. There will be ugly in this world, ugliness that may even try to seep into the serene walls of your home and heart. But, you my love, are worthy of happiness, success, beauty, tranquility and serenity. Fight for what you believe is important to you. -Chakayla J. Taylor 


The fact that I am able to speak from my heart and personal experiences is truly a blessing. When I was a young girl, my mother always told me that I was born on this Earth to create beautiful experiences with the people I held close to my heart. 

This past week, I have come to the beautiful realization of what she meant. My mother didn't necessarily know that I would become a social media coach but I believe she knew that I would dedicate my life to helping others reach their greatest potential. And with my birthday nearly a month ago, I've had the time to reflect on the life lessons I have learned over the past 25 years of my life. Clearly, the first lesson was that Langston Hughes penned my soul on to paper! Okay, now let's really get into the next 24 lessons that have shaped me: 

Letting go of things that I cannot change.

The time I spent on dwelling on the things I had no control over, was precious time wasted. You only get one life to get it right, so make sure it happens on your terms.

 Stop overplanning/overthinking.

No matter how much I plan, it always seems that my plans go awry. And to be completely honest, this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it would make me cringe any time my plans were led down another path I did not intend. One of the insights that I've gained from these experiences is that I just needed to let go and let time take its own course (in situations that allowed them). Take it slow and take notes ... each part of your journey is important and you will want to use these moments as lessons to inform how you will continue to elevate. 

Appreciating who I am, in every stage of the process.

Honey, I am far from perfect and I am more than comfortable excepting my flaws. I have been so blessed to have created a space where I can share my vulnerabilities, while also sharing my personal triumphs! Love yourself, every step of the way. 

Imperfections build character.

Perfectionism is not real ... it is not attainable. So, why do we push for something we will never accomplish? Use your imperfections as blueprints for your personal success.

Assisting and building with others, makes me happy.

Human interaction, no matter if it happens online or in person ... makes me super happy! Getting a chance to get out of my own head is always a great feeling. 

Eliminate fears by doing.

Fear no longer exists when you put action into making your dreams realities. Empowering positivity by being actionable is the best remedy ever! 

True friends stand the test of time.

Real friends that are there for you when you are up or when you are down, are the best friends to have. I remember my best friends always believing that my dream of turning blogging into a career was REAL ... to them too. Now that's what I call friendship.  

Intimacy is crucial.

I won't go into extreme detail, because intimacy has a different definition for us all. I will say, hug, kiss, cuddle and make love with those you adore. Life is short and sometimes we forget that our partners can be our muses as well. Take time to tend to your needs of yourself and your partner ... release that tension, boo.

Being myself is the greatest gift.

When I was a little girl, I would ask God, "Why couldn't I be born someone else?" Since the age of eight, I've always struggled with depression and low self-esteem. But there were two defining moments that changed my perspective: chopping off all of my hair and deciding to go natural + giving birth to my son, Emmanuel. It was at these moments in my life that I realized the best person to be was truly myself. Don't exhaust time and energy evolving into someone new, learn how to love and appreciate the person you look at in the mirror each day.

Stop living for others.

My life revolved around what others thought and believed about me. My mind was always clouded with what this person or what that person thought about me, but there was never enough space to think about what I thought and wanted for myself. So, once I had my son, I told myself that the only opinions that should matter to me, were those from me!

Let faith see me through.

Everything happens in due time and patience will forever and always be our bestie. There are times when I think I have everything planned out but there always seems to be a hitch in those plans, so I always let FAITH see and carry me through. Getting up tight and upset never solves the issue. 

Work hard, play hard.

As an entrepreneur I once believed that I had to pull all nighters to be successful and fully productive, but honey ... I was far from running a productive business. So, in addition to working hard on my business during the week, I give myself free time on the weekends to ENJOY MY LIFE.

Success is relative.

What you may believe is true about success, only pertains to you. The fact that we can think, feel and create with our minds, bodies and spirits is simply amazing and a testament on our faith. Please do not allow other people to define YOUR success and accomplishments. 

I can only define what success means to me.

Um hello, I can only live for me and me only. I want to encourage you do the same, loves!

Failures = Blueprints for success.

We can be so hard on ourselves when things do not pan out the way we want them. Little do we know, when we experience failure, it is a perfect platform for our success plan. Use your failures as a starting point to create the life and career of your dreams. 

Always be hungry for knowledge.

Don't settle for what you ALREADY know. Challenge yourself by learning something new, something amazing, something fantastic, something mind-blowing ... every day.

Experiment.

You will never know unless you try. The only limits that exist in our world of creativity are those we put on ourselves. Break yourself from those chains of doubt and create something of your wildest dreams. 

Accept failure like a champ.

Hey, we can't all be Oprah on the first try. Honey, dust yourself off and do it again!

Just do it.

Fear and "Can't" just don't exist in my world. There are moments when doubt may seep into my mind, but I do not allow that to stop me from creating opportunities for myself and those around me.

Follow Your Heart.

As children, we are taught to use our "minds"  to achieve the success we want to experience. But I was grateful to have had a mother who encouraged me to think with my heart and soul. Having that balance between my mind, heart and soul has allowed me to create CJT Online and build with amazing women every day. 

Be grateful.

We are not promised today or tomorrow, so be grateful for the opportunities, people, experiences and emotions I am allowed. 

Be kind.

Kindness doesn't seem to exist, so we have to make it known that it does. Spare some time to spread genuine kindness to those around you by sending thank you cards, sending thoughts texts and emails or shoot, call someone and tell them that you appreciate their vision and hard work. 

Be understanding.

Telling someone, "I understand," (when you actually do) is a powerful sentiment. It's all about being empathetic and genuine with that person. Allow that person to speak on what they are currently experiencing and what they want to accomplish. This is something that I get to do everyday. 

Be REAL.

Pretending to be someone else is absolutely exhausting. Take time to learn and understand who YOU are. Be real, be open, be genuine. 

How will you dedicate your time to jotting down the lessons you have learned?